Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
