Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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