That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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