There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
