Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
