its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
