Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
