Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
this is an emotional support booty call
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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