I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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