I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
