i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
