I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
