Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
