this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
