We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize