I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
