She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
