HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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