remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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