honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
even my farts smell like vagina
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
