Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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