good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
