I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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