do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
