these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
