Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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