Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
