I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
