best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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