No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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