fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
