It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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