i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
