handjob tips. give me some.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
