Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
