doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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