Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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