Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
handjob tips. give me some.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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