We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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