At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
