It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
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Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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