i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
