i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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