OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i love accidental penises.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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