His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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