Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
