I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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