We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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