I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
