BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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