I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
