Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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