OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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