Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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