What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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