erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize