What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
