i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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