this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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