Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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