I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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